|
[06 May 2007|03:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
I miss people
I miss a lot of people
I wish that I could give people more time
and that summer was only three weeks away so there was more time to be with people
... oh wait
and we tied. and now we're screwed. except for about three.
I hate having no control over this.
and I hate having devoted so much time to this, and now knowing that it's going to get bad again.
and be pointless.
and I already missed my chance to do something else.
|
|
|
[24 Dec 2006|02:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
apathetic |
] |
I really don't know what's wrong with me.
I wish I could be content being alone, but that seems like such an oxymoron.
you would think it would take some skill to mess everything up, but I'm getting very successful at it, with every aspect of my life.
john mayer songs make me want to cry.
|
|
|
[20 Nov 2006|06:36pm] |
I'm beggining to pity this journal. poor guy.
Everything is really peaceful right now.
Fall retreat was amazing.
|
|
|
[17 Aug 2006|11:39pm] |
its stressful already....
where's my gun when I need it?
|
|
|
[04 Aug 2006|12:39pm] |
thanks to sports summer is basically over...
I'm going to miss it.
it's been very good to me.
|
|
|
[22 Jul 2006|10:50pm] |
today I had one of those days where everything was just... okay, not great, not bad, not good just. okay.
I have this feeling that this "okayness" isn't going to stay satisfying for very long.
Italy was cool.
the pictures are killer.
the food was amazing.
the lack of social interaction was not.
I want to watch a romance movie and cry a lot, and then find a puppy to play with.
|
|
|
[29 Jun 2006|06:58pm] |
I've never had two more amazing weeks in my life.
so unbelievably indescribable.
I want to sing and dance.
and become undignified.
the world is now a different place.
|
|
|
[02 Jun 2006|12:05am] |
Dear journal,
what the heck is wrong with me?
thats all.
love,
jenna
|
|
|
[22 May 2006|08:53pm] |
|
I really hate sucking....it sucks a lot.
|
|
|
[15 May 2006|10:49pm] |
the thing is. after a year some of us are a lot more screwed than others. And its selfish, but its true.
....what a crappy beggining to summer.
|
|
|
[04 May 2006|11:04pm] |
rain. slow music. urge to cry. Sounds more like fate that coincidence.
I hate feeling like this.
Especially when there is no reason to.
I listened to the song four times today.
|
|
|
[09 Apr 2006|12:55am] |
I don't remember ever having moments like that.
why don't I remember ever having moments like that?
|
|
|
[02 Apr 2006|11:45am] |
|
sometimes....you just feel like crying because of the simple fact that you can't help but mess up.
|
|
| spring break '06 |
[15 Mar 2006|07:52pm] |
We danced. We Laughed. We screamed. We Cried. We grabbed spoons. And then we did it all again and again and again.
I don't think it would be possible to recreate the spirituality and emotion again.
The most amazing week. Duh.
|
|
|
[01 Mar 2006|10:19pm] |
its like every nice thing anyone says to me makes me want to bust out in tears. I don't even know why. I don't feel like I deserve them. On a completaly different level than the obvious.
I got what I wanted... but I'm still not pleased. What is wrong with me?
A pillow, a puppy, and a soft kiss is what I am craving.
|
|
|
[15 Feb 2006|08:48pm] |
My mind has been changed. I once again like people. Especially fun ones.
I was in a weird kind of shock for all of today. I'm not sure if it was an effect of lack of sleep, or a kind of hangover from valentines day emotions. But valentines day dinner with 21 billion people was fun. I enjoyed it. I enjoy being with lots of people.
|
|
|
[11 Feb 2006|04:34pm] |
I feel like throwing up everything I have ever eaten. And then eating a bunch of cookie dough to make it all better.
why do I have this insane dislike for the whole world?
|
|
|
[30 Jan 2006|08:37pm] |
is one even allowed to be jealous of something they never had? Or something they told themselves they didn't need?
I hate feeling so weak. Like I need other things in my life to make me feel good. Because I'm to weak to deal with my crap by myself. I really dislike me sometimes....
....I miss lindsay.
|
|
|
[12 Jan 2006|10:36pm] |
today Marcus Griffin came to Bowie and he opened a door for nora and myself. And smiled at us. And it was amazing.
since new years I've had multiple people tell me what their new years resolutions are and then ask me mine. And I've lied multiple times and said I hadn't thought about it. But I had. And I know about four good ones, but I'm too scared to make them. I know that they wouldn't be stupid things like... be nice to animals. But I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to live up to the things that I should be able to do. Because I should be able to do them, and I feel unbelievably weak not being able to.
and I told one of my secrets that I felt ridiculous even thinking. With the hope that I would feel less ridiculous if I told it to someone. But now it just seems more real, and that I can't run away from how idiodic I am. Even though the lovely person I told it too was amazing and didn't laugh at me.
I don't like how this year has begun.
except for being smiled at by Marcus Griffin.
|
|
|
[27 Dec 2005|11:45pm] |
I wish I could be poetic, and put simple things into metaphors that made them seem complex and beautiful. but... I'm not.
christmas didn't feel like christmas. Maybe I'm becoming an old hag, but it just wasn't all joyful and that cliche-ish "christmas spirit" feeling. Gah, I hate feeling so crappy all the time. I'm pretty sure that my family must hate me by now.
isn't it just horrible when your mind is full of things to say but your hands can't think of a way to say them? yes hands. Because I am jenna, and I don't talk about things. Because I suck at life.
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
ijenna09i's journal